“For he no longer wants to live a lie, he wanted the truth and was ready to seek it by taking a swim in his deepest sorrows, but the unforgiving agony almost drowned him in the darkest despair of his own wretched soul, he siege war against the tyranny of the most terrifying fear called Loneliness. “
Excerpt from a journal!
I reckon the lost isles of being a lonesome, a long-lasting forlorn the blessings of solitude.
If you want to create something you must go into solitude, to the depth of your own soul where you have never dared to go before.
As famous Artist Vincent Van Gogh said in a letter to his brother Theo:
“Instead of giving way to despair, I took the way of active melancholy as long as I had strength for activity, or in other words, I preferred the melancholy that hopes and aspires and searches to the one that despairs, mournful and stagnant.”
I see a young man making a resolution to test his soul in the worst of times when one is entirely alone, he will spend next seven days in utter isolation to discover what it could teach him, to find some answer’s like Is it possible for a man to live alone?
An isolated Man’s Journal for self-study.
He first wrote the Mission Statement:
I have decided to see if I could learn to live alone, relying up on my own energies, being self-reliant, spending time with myself, having only my own thoughts to cheer me up
Then he begin to write in third person singularity following lines timidly.
He wanted to create himself again with a new identity, to create a new world according to his taste. Even to write the history and to be predestined for future, manipulating the whole course of his existence said his soul in its temporal wake.
So, the Experiment begins:
On his 2nd entry in the paragraph he wrote:
There goes my cell phone I turned it off and throw it away! how calm I was without the worry that maybe I receive some important call, or miss hanging out with friends for what is the purpose of a friend? I asked myself yet no answer came to rescue my troubling soul.
On being passionate in flames, he penned down the lines as:
I organize my room, starting reading books after books it was magical, discovering each new treasure, every writer was my friend while offering me their life’s finding their purpose and living the life as truthful as it should be, letting their passions to kill them.
I was now creating my own little world. I was finally doing what I love to do, not wasting a single minute on social convention or conforming to the notion that what majority thinks is wisdom. I am better off in this God forsaken lonely room haunted by the writers, philosophers, poets and Artist’s almost dead thousands of years ago.
On discovering his purpose of doing what he love:
Writing for straight 4 hours a day! I discover one can only think clearly when one writes, all the distraction which usually comes to mind in thinking process was gone. Finally my mind was at peace, suddenly the soul was enriched and it was harmonious.
It teaches me to work on what is important to you more often what you love doing it why to wait in desperation for the right time, just write away, here I’m writing 5000 words each night and my Novel is in progress since then.
On Falling in love with his sufferings in cold lonely nights:
Now I was weary and to be very honest it is terrible to be alone. On the 4th day I had given up and I am seduced to be in company of a friend! for quite some time I haven’t talk to anyone out of necessity like a monk. It was becoming harder and harder to bear myself, my own soul was the sole companion and the ultimate burden……..
On questioning authority:
Why GOD is alone? I have no idea why I wrote this, but it was an interesting inquiry, I deduce that God is supreme He doesn’t need anyone’s company, He is all that exist and will always be, than another thought strikes me down? then why do He create angels and all the living things? if he was reluctant to be alone? maybe he was bored? pardon me oh dear Lord! I said to myself laughingly
On Imitating the full blue moon:
The Evening brings great tidings when the full blue moon appears in the night sky, I was overwhelmingly excited so delightful that I lie down on the ground and looked straight towards the moon, its majestic light lit my face and I closed my eyes and my soul left my body suddenly I was free and flying alone in the infinite cosmos
Like stars on fire yet I have never seen a star having a friend, why would I then, as I look down to our own very earth, glowing and colorful blossoming with life, tears fell from my eyes and I asked, oh! dear EARTH did you ever feel lonely? and she whispered to my ears “For I exist for you and you for me, how can I feel lonely when I’m the only planet among others supporting life. I’m heavenly even the Sun exists for me, the whole space and time almost every thing ends up to you oh! the super human soul.”
He titled the last paragraph as Conclusion:
I wanted to talk to someone, I finally conclude we humans are social beings I wrote 500 hundred words as why one should have friends? but still it doesn’t convince to me to call some one and out of mere desperation or due to the fear of being left alone that I should spend time with someone in utter vulnerability, I prefer self-overcoming than compromising to the false society.
The experiment proved thus, One should never compromise one’s integrity, my melancholy and loneliness never bother me as it never did for the most people if we see history, for an artist to dwell in solitude is a blessing.
Here must read the blog about my favt. Artist Vincent van Gogh: