On My birthday! We will Go Back in History to Investigate Why we have Birthday Parties!!

I woke up this morning like every other morning but with a new curiosity deep inside my eyes asking myself why is today my birthday? that single question forces me to grab my laptop and then spending straight two hours to search a little on history of birthday celebrations and the facts were so overwhelmingly strange, and amazing. I thought of it that moment to put it into my blog!

The first Question I came-up with when I found that its my birthday was something like this: Why do we celebrate birthdays? and throw birthday parties? without knowing why? following the trend, oh! yes? just because everybody else is doing it. you will surely agree to this point.

I even heard some people say why to celebrate the day when you know you’re getting older each year and its getting you closer to death. 

But as my ‘motto” is to question everything! So I didn’t conform but investigate As why on this day we invite friends and families. To have great time together. Cutting the cakes, receiving gifts and making wishes while preparing delicious recipes. 




The concept gain popularity in west and now through movies and pop-culture it has gained worldwide popularity, a kind of norm among the people of different backgrounds, regions and cultures. Almost Millions of cakes are cut down every-single day.

Hey! Why not open a bakery then? it’s a good market with potential by the way.

The birthday is the most special day in everyone’s life. Every year, we wait for this day. On your birthday, you are the most VIP person in the whole world. Everyone, who knows you or via any social media calls you or texts you wish you good health. And, you also many plans for your birthday celebration, among which, party is the list topper. But we celebrate our birthday party, without knowing why we celebrate it.

Why to wait! Lets dig in.


                          All history is based on borrowing  trends from different cultures!

It all started when the Greeks offered moon-shaped cakes to Artemis as a form of tribute to the lunar goddess. To recreate the radiance of the moon and her perceived beauty, Greeks lit candles and put them on cakes for a glowing effect. The Greeks most likely took the idea of birthday celebration from the Egyptians, since just like the celebration of the pharaohs as “gods,” the Greeks were celebrating their gods and goddesses.

Then Romans were found in history of pages celebrating every commons man birthday in open markets.

“[Let them eat cake] was said 100 years ago by Marie-Thérèse, the wife of King Louis XIV of France. It was a callous and ignorant statement

The Industrial Revolution brought delicious cakes to the masses.

It is not Islamic nor its concept is present in Christianity. It was rather a pagan celebration we have adopted.

Seems absurd? So is Life.



Why do we celebrate birthdays?

It is no doubt a very silly question but let’s go deep into its root to know more. 

  1. The idea of celebrating the date of your birth is a pagan tradition. In fact, many Christians didn’t celebrate birthdays historically, because of that link to paganism. Pagans thought that evil spirits lurked on days of major changes, like the day you turn a year older.

  2. Perhaps someday a Birthdayologist will come along to set the record completely straight, but until then, we’ve compiled this short list of historians’ best hypotheses on the evolution of birthday celebrations and the delicious cakes that so often accompany them.

  3. Many religions celebrate the birth of their founders or religious figures with special holidays (e.g. Christmas, Mawlid, Buddha’s Birthday, and Krishna Janmashtami).

Why do we sing “Happy Birthday To You?”

It’s the most recognizable song in the English language, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, and it started as a song for schoolkids.


Things to remember on your birthday!

So next time when you celebrate your birthday make sure you enjoy the day at its best because the way it has evolved through human history and became part of our lives is magical and no doubt is a unique form of human expression for appreciating life because we only lives once.

So, Love your life as the american philosopher Thoreau wrote:

However mean your life is , meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The fault finder will find faults even in paradise.”

And like bon jovis famous rock song “Its my Life” say it loudly,

My life is like an open high way like Frankie said I did it my way. I just wanna live while I’m alive. Its My Life.” 




Thankyo  🙂

Fear and Loathing in our every day lives! “The Existential Crisis.”

The sun rises again this morning when I was standing on the roof-top. It’s bright yellow light shone on my pale sunken cheeks and I understand what it wanted to say. “The absurdity of life”, Even the sun was tired of this tedious duty of retiring in noon and coming up at dawn.

The Universe is expanding every second among the billions of galaxies out there. whereas the sunlight only takes 3 minutes and 19 seconds to reach us on earth why can’t it vary? Its lethargy is obvious. That is why this time the Sun-light wants the Motto “Nothing is slower than light?  instead of “Nothing is faster than light” as Einstein said:

How much Absurd the idea is right? 

Here are some more absurd ideas I have been thinking! 

Earth keeps on spinning around the sun. I could hear its sheer outcry, the anguish of being alive among the dead planets asking for the meaning of its existence in this vast lifeless cosmos. 

How meaningless these repetitions makes life. We wake up every morning and do the same thing over and over again like the punishment of Sisyphus. we have been ordered by our own existence to endure such boring routine.


“Creation” or art is another way to express human experiences, wrote Albert Camus, in his Myth of Sisyphus (1942), a philosophical essay examining the meaning of life.

The gods saw no worse punishment for Sisyphus’ mischief than sentencing him to toil for no reason toward nothing, a metaphor for the human condition. Life is absurd and without meaning. In this “unintelligible and limited universe,” humans have an “irrational and… wild longing for clarity.” “If the world were clear, art would not exist.”



I want to do something different each day and the anxiety arose with the tiring routine of going to University then coming back home doing the same thing over and over again.

I’m not saying there should be a change either because it will make it worst for it is impossible for a man to do different things on each new day.

The dull lectures tear away all the passion in my soul while sitting in the class-room is like sitting in a horrible dungeon where only darkness prevails and the daily travels have got the best in me. Then the society expects me to find happiness in my life.



My Existential crisis!

This is absurd, ridiculous and this is where the existential crisis starts. Life just don’t make any sense here I’m waiting for the degree to be finished so that I may start a job to earn some good money than get married and have kids to move on in life as everybody else is doing.

I dare say! What is the purpose of living then? when you had to go through all this just to die? God is eternal “Yes” to follow the religion is the meaning of life?  Absurdity comes when you realize this that the truest doctrine which happens to be in your domain is just because your born in that particular environment sometimes doesn’t feel right.


what if I say I’m a rebel like the Satan in Milton’s “Paradise Lost” and say “No” to everything the world says “Yes” just to live my life as I want without any dictation of others, make my own laws to hang my will over it.

Reading “Camus” too much these days could be the reason. Existentialist depression have been a problem for me since I was a kid. Never satisfied with the teachings of my peers for I was always in revolt.

This urge makes me curious to know more, finding my own meaning of life in this absurd, meaningless world. which sometimes makes me laugh as I grow up as is the famous quote by Victor Eremita.





Being an Existential doesn’t make you an outlier rather it is a gift and a blessing where one struggles to discover himself and the true purpose of life  🙂

What does It take to be Great? How the Shakespearean Statement becomes My Burning Desire.

The truth is I was never born to be great neither that I could ever achieve greatness, I tried but failed miserably. Now the only way I could be great is by thrusting it upon myself, going almost insane caring not what happens to the world, even if it makes me a fragile narcissist. I will keep on going towards the path of greatness. And that for me is to keep on Writing. 

Great Men Theory.

History tell us about some people with extra-ordinary capabilities, who were born to be great. As we move along from the whole antiquity of great people to this modern era. What I find out is quite the opposite and astonishing!

Because there are a certain class of people who thrust greatness upon them. They are truly a rare breed, self-made men but they make themselves. To name them would take me more than a blog. I will enlist a few to illustrate my point.


The burning desire

Here are some people who truly influence me, they are an inspiration. these are truly the great men who makes a difference in the world. None of them was born great or achieve greatness easily, some of them even struggle to survive and fits in the Shakespearean statement of those men who thrust greatness upon them.


Achilles I must say were driven by a mighty force, their bravery was the sign of greatness, being fierce in battles and winning even if it meant death they were always ready to do so.


Al-hazen was a great 10 century Arab Muslim scientist, who invented the scientific method and wrote about 200 books. his biography shows at one incident in his life time he had to pretend to be an insane to save his life from a mad governor and was confined which became his gateway for researches on light and later invented the pin-hole camera.




Isaac Newton a genius. This person is the reason I have a keen interest in psychics till to this day since I discovered him, he always resented against the tyranny of British royal academy. His Principia Mathematica revolutionize the world. His struggle and ideas shows the enigma of extra-ordinary people.





 The Vikings  were the only men in history living in harsh winters and were responsible for changing Anglo-Saxons to Anglo-Norman. That is how they thrust greatness upon themselves though the spirit of adventure



Nietzsche’s most remarkable work: thus spoke Zarathustra’s present superman concept of self overcoming. his life was a mediocre one but his imaginary self was of great importance for next generations to discover their passions. Uberminch is the person truly a genius here to make a difference.


Then came the eminent philosophers and writers from all era’s through renaissance to early 20th century





Stephen Hawking suffered through a terrible disease which paralyzed him and life expectancy was only two years but he lived and through his greatness amazed the world, his singularity theory and explanation of time, black holes, he even published a paper ten days before his death. That is how you thrust greatness upon yourself.






Alon Musk is a visionary, who thinks Mars should be colonized by humans, his space x launches a biggest rocket to space. He was always bullied in school, his parenting was tormenting but he struggle and became a great men today.






Mark Zuckerberg the world knows him, it all started with a stupid idea of socializing the personal profile in Harvard campus as kind of a fun dating site. now he is one of the richest person and who don’t know what Facebook is right!

what Shakespeare said make sense.



Who are those one could say are born great?

The born leaders are the only people who end up with a fortune of millions in their heritage, or who belongs to a Monarchy or it ended up to the mythological gods or the prophets. Not the ordinary human being.


Who are those who achieve greatness? 

But those who achieve greatness are those who simply put their head under a single yoke and did achieve what they want but lack the power to influence others, the so-called interdependence. The Win/Win philosophy.



It takes all, even to die for your passion.  To Those who thrust greatness upon themselves.

My life is a hustle! here and there rushing and trying to accomplish more in a little time by little effort here it is what I learn.

First purity my passion of beaming a Writer?

Some days I couldn’t write a single word and somedays there are words, empty words. Inspiration often comes rarely. but you have to write anyway. I sit alone having a laptop on my lap jotting down words avoiding spoilers each day.

I dedicated all my energy to this single passion of mine and the result was devastating. another publisher rejected my stories?

I lost a writing contest. not caring about my studies or even exams for meeting the deadline to finish my story.

and I asked myself was it worth it?

The only valuable thing is time, nothing else matters so much  and not to the world but to me cause I spend most of my time writing that is what keeps me alive.

I’m not a great writer obviously! but I’m hoping to make my writing great by improvising.

Failing is a blessing in disguise, Shakespeare statement had taught to me of his great vision of a great men, the legend of English literature inspires me to keep on trying the day is not for away when one will get eventually he so passionately wants.

thus I have written to encourage all the struggling writers like me to not give up but keep on writing you will get published too, that’s the only way of becoming great by force, not giving up. it’s a war there a lot of better writers out there.

And you are a writer to me and to yourself simply because private victory leads to public victory.


Happiness is in Rebellion!

Extraordinary man propels the society forward therefore it is my duty to break the law, it is the ordinary people who are obedient whatever it may be my parents, society as a whole or the country where I live or the religion my peers follow. I have no intention to go under a single yoke and spend my whole life protecting what’s not mine. 

All history is a struggle to break the old and build the new, every great hero to any prophet make new laws reform new ways of seeing the world.

There are only few people capable of doing or seeing the new things, having a new vision.

To free spirits 

Napoleon thought he is a great man who is above the law, and no doubt he was and even to shed the blood it was worth it for his sacred duty to conquer Europe

The queer expression on my face, the hardness like a heavy burden on my chest stops my breath. what is it? the resistance to conformity.

My stupefy companions oh your little miserable life, I laugh at your limited thinking, think for yourself for God’sake.

How to be happy

Hang your own will as your law. Do the Wrong when everybody is doing right. I guarantee  you will do a lot better.

challenge everything that the world find it self to be contented with.

I disobey everything I have been taught since I was a kid.

And I don’t care What you think of me because caring only makes you weak

Question everything and Worship nothing.

Straighten up your finger and screw the norms and traditions that bound our liberty and free thinking.

Breaking the old myths and creating new 

When we don’t conform to what feels obvious to other people is that we became victim of their hatred and jealousy. And for that very reason I just smoked a cigarette and exhale all the shit they are trying to put me in.

My “No” to everyone around me, sorry if I’m disappointing you but there is more to life than to be of what you want me to be.

Again quoting Thoreau,

“Old deeds for old people and new for new people.” 


The Paper Man’s story. Why is the Library truly a heaven on earth?


The eccentric young boy was walking briskly, his fragile body wavering through the unknown regions of his mind. All smoky and woody, it was the library. He ought to find a meaning. The beauty of that time and place was extraordinary. It was not the old world but a new world filled with new ideas, gathered from all the amazing writers, poets, and philosophers.

He passes through the immense shelves inhabited by the books. ‘Oh my heaven on earth’ was the first word, he uttered enthusiastically after the blink of an eye. What magic, indescribable wonders these written words have, how boring this life would be without the libraries hiding unlimited treasures for the seekers of knowledge.


Each day he would come up with a book, offering great ideas to work on, his life was not the same anymore. He found association of writers more preferable than his friends, or family.

The aroma of which he was addicted seems to him all he cares about whenever he is having a bad day. This was the healing world, escapism to a place which has solutions for every problem in his life.






Nothing was more heavenly than a room filled with books, the wandering souls of the writers, his best friends and patrons. 

All human history is in written word, the best of man’s invention. He was the only one around his neighborhood who falls in love with books. His girlfriend was the pages filled with thoughts, feelings and gloomy ink. He would sometimes kisses it  and smell it whole heartily.

World can not be destroyed if we kept the possession of books containing all the progress of human race from centuries.





“Associate with noblest people you can find, read the best books, live with the mighty. But learn to be happy alone. Rely upon your own energies, and so not wait for, or depend on other people.”

“Professor Thomas Davidson”.

Why we don’t need Advice from our Elders? Here is life, an experiment to a great extent untried by me.


“Age is no better, hardly so well, qualified for an instructor as youth, for it has not profited so much as it has lost. One may almost doubt about if the wisest man has learned anything of absolute value by living. Practically, the old have no very important advice to give the young. ”  Wrote Henry David Thoreau


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There is no other advice better than our own. 

I often heard people saying that, one must have a peer, a well experienced man. who has learned from his life and know the technicalities and practical issues one might face, so they can guide us rightly as what to with our lives?

I say, it is never too late to give up our prejudices. It is like the smoke of the cigarette I inhale and each puff releases this unfathomable empty smoke which scatters their opinions in the air because whenever they told me something not to do? I always do that and later find out I did the right thing.

Because nobody knows yourself better than your own self!

Fetch a fresh fuel to keep the fire going, the fire of life itself and only new people can do that

Follow your on unique path, if we see all the high achievers including bill gates, Steve jobs, warren buffet, Alon Musk and Writers like H.G wells, KafkaJames Joyce artists like Da Vinci and Vincent van Gogh. 

They all struggles through their life to live the truth instead of the lies that their parents or the society led them believe which kills all the creativity in them for the notion that life is all work, progress and money.




Most people need a standard to live. I dare say raise your standards think for your self, don’t care about what the world wants? Do what you think your best at.

Even if it means to die for your passion, go all the way, go insane like Chris McCandless  while hitchhiking around the country went to Alaska to experience the life only to essential facts by simplifying it with wilderness and labor of his own hands, living life to its lowest form. On his journey he said “if you want anything in life just reach out and grab it.” 

Happiness is in rebellion trust me, don’t just listen what your parents say or what other people say or think.  Don’t resign to that, there is more to life than chasing after the ruthless career hunt.

Do what your heart says. there is whole life out there waiting for you to express yourself and get the best from it.



One must have a vision and a great ideal to follow which must be no one but your own ideal self-image as where you see yourself in next 5 years or so?




All revolutions and progress in the world we see today was always at the mercy of young people. So discover yourself and break the old traditions.

Here is the Inspiration form the greatest artist from all time. Vincent van Gogh, a must watch the video.


How when soul of a man is born in this Country gains Immortality as he grows up. Importance of questioning everything.

When I was born, Immortality was thrust into my soul, the so called “Inquisitiveness” the quest to search for the true meaning of life?

There are a certain class of individuals who are not satisfied with the generally accept principles and notions of life that other takes for guaranteed.

Reasoning and logical questioning is a journey

For what is the value of faith accepted with fear and without understanding?

Intelligent, responsible, constructive, reflecting questioning enriches the human mind and soul. the quest for questioning is not simply a destination, but a journey and I’m going to show you my journey of questioning as I grow up.

I belong to the iconoclasts, so I took a hammer and smash the so called eternal truths? really it is a mediocre life to me and why? because when I was born I was told my purpose here is to worship God, its a test?

Alright, but that was not enough for me to hold on life for long, look now I’m weary of this doctrine. There is surely more to life. As in Quran Allah says to explore the universe and reflect on the world and discover his signs. He clearly wants mankind to find hidden isles.


 The Immortal soul

Allama Iqbal the poet philosopher wrote: ” Had blind following been such a good thing, the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) would have followed his ancestors path limiting the tradition of blind following as we see today. 

The Quran portrays Ibrahim or Abraham as an inquiring prophet who kept on searching for knowledge related to life and death. As in Verse 60:60 sets him as an exemplary man to follow


When I was a child:

I saw the meaning of life was to conform to the commonality of people where you live, accept the values and obey the laws made by men who died thousands of years ago, why I was not allowed to question authority?

Then I saw the meaning of life was to be an obedient child. Do whatever your parents says, suppressing your inner most desires, showing the signs of a good breed by securing good grades in school, showing exotic table manners, doing what everybody else is doing, perceiving that the wisdom is what everybody thinks and repeat after them?


My Adolescences 

I wake up and saw the meaning of life was to be pious and virtuous, offering salah’s (Prayer) five times a day, than accepting the eternal truths without much thought or inquiry as your take pride in your creed, land of your birth, your name, heritage and the birthmark of being a Muslim really that is the life world wants me to live?

I saw the meaning of life was to offer Jumah salah (prayer) on weekends and still keep on lying, doing immoral things, being a relentless sinner and than saying God is merciful, repent and keep repenting and keep sinning then repeating but no more now, that old virtuous Muslim young man had committed suicide out of curiosity.

As a teenager 

I saw the meaning of life was to get a good livelihood, earning a good income, having a respectable status in society, voting in elections, watching the news every night and yelling at the government, hanging out with friends and following the fashion, listening to songs, doing what everybody is doing?

Later, I saw that the meaning of life was to fear God? for if you don’t obey his commands you will be thrown into hell, a place for sinners and disobedient’s. I cried in horror and became a good Muslim, than I see the Molvi’s committing sins, lying, doing every kind of evil, preaching hate speech, corrupting the youth, committing adultery and child molestation. Is this the Islam they want me to follow?

I saw meaning of life was to get married and have children, yet I longed for a women, for those were called immoral and unchaste who repeated the same act before marriage.


I saw meaning life life was to get into a university, securing good CGPA each semester, studying for upcoming life, we are here to learn about life or cheating life?

when I saw professors selling grades for money, I see these educators don’t have a liberal education and running institutions on basis off state propaganda and this is how I was taught to get an education. I stopped believing in their standardize testing and starting educating myself up-to now.

I laugh and laughed so hard that my teeth went out my mouth, my belly swell and blasted with shame.

I wish if i could just die than to live as the world dictates. I prefer death for I will no longer serve in which I no longer belief, I don’t believe in my country, the people and the organized institutions

life is given to us for a purpose and it is yet to be found? guess what “Alon Musk’ recently launched falcon heavy rocket for searching life on Mars? this is my vision? he is my inspiration people who Dare to do things out of the box. 

Art I hereby declare is the true meaning of life for me forever and ever until my death.


Happiness is in rebellion, going against those who discouraged critical thinking or from questioning everything?



I’m a human being, not a sheep after all you tell me what should I do with my curiosity? I mean Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) knows who God is right? because he was a prophet in Torah, bible and Quran and he still questions God how you make the world? how things works? asking about nature and physical laws? Even being a prophet he did that inquiry to show us to do the same instead of following blindly.

“Valentines day” is a Fallacy for me. Because I don’t want ordinary women but a mermaid and then a cupid to rip my heart open.

“My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold, There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold.”


My plans for Valentines (Absurdist one)

On Valentines day I will walk down to the river sing this song desperately with hope, expecting that a mermaid might come up, then cupid appear from the sky throw an arrow to my heart and reason behind fantasizing this is that to be frankly honest I’m not expecting any sane women falling for me these days 😀 for I’m still looking for an insane women just as I’m.


I love this song is forcibly sung by Scrum in order to attract the mermaids. Tamara’s first appearance in the film was singing the song, while the other mermaids were coming up, shortly before she attacked Scrum and the other crewmen. from (Pirates of the Caribbean)  here must watch this little clip.

Love a fallacy, it has no real meaning. 

It is in the movies that we see such perfect couples or love that always wins, but in real life Love is a “verb” which means it demands action, it is not a mere feeling, it is a kind of responsibility to the stimuli we get from another person, we gain love by action like sacrifice, mutual understanding, patience, preservation and care.


How popular culture perceive it

Valentines day is described as a romantic cult for the couples to exercise with all the exultation. It has a different reality, very dark indeed on the opposite, if we see the history.

But It is really a good time for flower markets, chocolate shops and restaurants to earn great slums of money. it’s a good business.

If I remain single till the next valentine I might open up a flower shop at least this way I can use my outrageous behavior against 14 feb.

For true lovers each day is valentines day

Yes, Each day the rising sun greets lovers with increased amount love. To illustrate here is my favorite qoute from my favt. Novel.

“They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

More than ritual as part our culture now: 

Originating as a Western Christian feast day honoring one or two early saints named Valentinus, Valentine’s Day is recognized as a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance in many regions around the world, although it is not a public holiday in any country.

Introduced In Pakistan since 1990’s”

It has become part of our culture, like a ritual we love to celebrate it, emotionally filled with love and care sadly, only for the couples.

Myth behind the valentine’s day

Cupid is a roman God, and love of God like the goddess Venus. it’s a very controversial historical event. I posted this video years ago on my FB profile. one must have awareness of the Valentines’s day’s reality so i hope you will watch.



“An Ideal Woman”

There was something special in her looks, inexplicable and wonderfully beautiful, I startled almost intoxicated, and unwittingly asked myself: Is this the ideal women? what power caused those sad, thoughtful eyes to shine with such glow.

A familiarity, like I have seen her before but where? asked my pitiful soul, oh! such vivacity in her face. what summoned the blood to those pale, sunken cheeks? Maybe she is from another world.

I envied this short-lived exhilaration, and I regret the momentary beauty faded so quickly , so irretrievably, that it flashed before me so deceptively and in vain I regret this because there was not time for me even to fall in love with her

All the time I was walking besides her like a damned soul, with bated breaths, and my heart beating violently while she seems not to care absorbed in her own profound soul filled with pride and prejudice for which my heart sank in a deadening melancholy and I left her in her beauty and pride like the clouds after raining left the garden full of flowers to bloom with life.

The Ideal Beauty!

I cherished her upbringing with such delicacy and love that one can say she is no more less than a princess. perhaps Not like me a wretched soul with all the inflicting sorrows. Her handsome face  reminds me of a Turkish actress I have seen in a serial long time ago.

Her eyes were mysterious, what caused those tender features of her face flared with passion? the confidence in her spasmodic figure, her legs the way she put one on other. Her lips so pinkish and soft like a strawberry one wants to chew it to the last bit. A simplicity in her gentle beauty.

The words out of her mouth are so precisely well-spoken like they are refined and filtered with a gifted perfection. Whenever she says something it has such sweetness like someone showered me with honey, I can feel it all over me the encompassing never-ending delicacy which turns every disgusting thing I have before into a wonderful piece of art.

Such an ecstasy when she looks at me, my heart flutters out of my trembling body with all that is evil in me. I feel disguised and immoral. I envy why I’m not like her. Well accomplished and such completeness. She clearly understands everything. I feel myself much lower in front of her. I even hate my own being. I wish I could be much better than I’m. she revolts my dark soul to become utterly virtues. Suddenly the whole world changes, life feels like a heavy burden as its meaning has been lost.

What a spell she put on me, I have never seen such a beautiful girl in my life. The impression of her on me is so strong I feel like a filth, a dirt and she is like a precious shoe that must not walk on such a muddy ground as I’m.

Ah! when she laughs, her sparkling laughter has such liveliness it can even bring the dead to life. Such a vitality in her. She has given me a hope that truly there is more to life. I for a moment forgot all my worries like I entered into a heaven on earth, just one desire left that is to worship her, just to look at her and reflect on the world, how little is the world in her presence, she has brought a new, a better world filled with love, compassion and hope.

I’m but an impressionist, this is my job to see the best in one’s soul. Get the best out of it and the let the damned world know what really happiness is, how these little things can make a huge difference in  life, her smile, the soft, thin cheeks and the fondness one finds in her eyes. Oh! It’s like I have lived a hundred lives and still not satisfied.

So your life is going to change girl? being a doctor is not easy as it looks like said her uncle, a stout middle-aged man, she sank at her seat timidly with her expressionless face. she is passionate and can do anything, its my daughter for god-sake do i look like giving up on her? said her mother profoundly. while she sits there in a stillest hour like some doll immovable just her presence was enough to run thousands arguments on her mighty ambitions.

Her Vain Glory! 

It was a bright sunny day in the University, she was standing outside her block blossoming like a flower, her vulnerability was like that of a child lost in wilderness. I accompany her and her glowing face brightened my heart all dark and gloomy.

she exclaimed! “I wish if I could leave this place, I miss my home look where my parents had thrown me into, Umm she paused and nodding her head. She added, into this “pind” a hell on earth. Oh! don’t say that, everything will be alright, I replied. ‘You know what I think people who study commerce has lesser brains as compared to sciences student, for what is the value of humanities subjects? I’m getting a medical degree to have a major guy in my wedlock! she said disdainfully, ha-ha-ha! I laughed at her mighty ambitions, well! that was an insult on me. I cried instantly, then she laughed and said, ‘that was not what i mean’, and we walked for hours but her words mattered really even the degrading one’s even to be insulted by her was a blessing in disguise.

I have no intentions to make any sort of acquaintance with her at any rate.  She is going to be the leading light. A flower of hope on mountain crushed with pain and despair. How my melancholy stays me awake on this cursed night.

He risked all for her, why is he so much changed without any indication from the lady herself. Who avoids him. Why she is arrogant and self-obsessed? because as the Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard wrote, “That a girl in the company of her same-sex mates destroys all womanliness in her. She is no longer in her truest natural form as she was made. But became something else.”

This girl had thrown me out of little paradise, I was happy if not the unhappiest one. books and writing, I was lost in my imaginary world. She put me out of the fantasy world into the real word. Such cruel and unforgiving world it is and sadly, it has nothing good to offer me.

I woke up thinking about her cursing myself she was on my nerves oh! my lonely heart your forever doomed.

What an Art. Just imitate her, adore her. Nothing more than that, I will get through it like all the times but this golden beauty has left a wound which can never be healed.

For she was the women of my fantasy world, and the ideal must remain ideal out of any man’s reach. 

I swear to god as soon as I had written her in words, she will be long gone from my memory into the enigma. into a black-hole. 


Her  sickness unto death.

For one even fears to go to sleep not see her in dreams for that will be unbearable for such unworthy soul as mine: she must remain an ideal, yes! An Ideal woman.

For out of anyone’s reach. For superior and close to Art itself. for if Leonardo da Vinci would have been alive and he would have painted her face right away without a second thought. Cause such a jubilant glowing face had all the wonders and simple beauty to appreciate in our daily life’s.

A stalwart always unwelcomed, the alienated timid boy in whole university. The only good thing was her, his reason to be in the mass crowd was her existence. He wanted her sunlight to shine on him give a reason to live and be proud. But his dark despair reveals covered under his skin. He was an impostor. Nothing of him was real

It was another version of himself. He couldn’t recognized. Rest of the world doesn’t matter even the things which was the most important things in his life suddenly lost its meaning. Now it has a new life and a new desire just to get close to her. For he would do anything, anything and anything.



Its only part of my creative writing. I’m just practicing, no such people exist as I mention above it’s all Imaginary. 


Waking life! Lucid Dreamer, How I learn to dream consciously. Astronomy labelled such dreamers as #Star children’s Experiencing Deja vu is also Artistic.

It was a beautiful night, the sky was filled with glittering stars and the cold wind was blowing in great silence, I was walking calmly, taking swaying steps, breathing heavily my hands were in my pocket, shivering with cold as I met a neighbor down the street. He talked to me about something I don’t really remember but during that conversation a sudden exhilaration makes me conscious of my dreaming and I knew in my dream that I was dreaming. 

A hysterical madness rushed all over me as I looked up in the sky and I swear to God I have never seen anything more beautiful than this a surreal view of a gigantic planet it was non other than Jupiter and its four moons orbiting around, flashing lights and so vivid and clear and as more as I observed and focus it was like someone is zooming the picture for me, it was falling on me, slowly it came so close towards me. I see the crown, the ring of Jupiter its surface and the moons, the excitement and horror was so real I woke up the next second and still  felt the chaos with in my heart.


My conscious dream a few hours ago!

Self-awareness is when you see the yourself in the dream and at the same time you are aware that it is a dream, that way you can control your dream and anything is possible and like a lost wanderer we will find our self’s among the lost isles of man never discovered before.

What is a lucid dream?

 A lucid dream is a dream during which the dreamer is aware of dreaming. During lucid dreaming, the dreamer may be able to exert some degree of control over the dream characters, narrative, and environment.

The term ‘lucid dream’ was coined by Dutch author and psychiatrist Frederik van Eeden in his 1913 article A Study of Dreams

The Greek philosopher Aristotle wrote: ‘often when one is asleep, there is something in consciousness which declares that what then presents itself is but a dream

The first step to lucid dreaming is recognizing one is dreaming. This recognition might occur in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, which is one of the few areas deactivated during REM sleep and where working memory occurs


My Deja vu experience 

Some of the dreams still haunt’s me since I was a kid and this is the reason I have a keen interest in time travelling, the parallel universes and theoretical physics.

What I envision is when inside a time bubble, time solidifies into HORIZONTAL [linear] time, permitting infinities of (past, present, future) probable conditions. According to Quantum mechanics there are many versions of ourselves in another universe same as ours where we make other choices and possibility of changing the past. So Fascinating isn’t?

When outside the time bubble (non-time), I suppose you could call it VERTICAL time with infinite possible horizontal intersections of the V-axis. However, once “intent” (or focal point) catalyzes an inter-section into action, it then becomes the impetus of a new event.
Thus, parallel universes would seem as fractals, or branches off vertical time with apparent parallel HORIZONTAL time lines that may or may not be close to each other.



When I was a kid about 6 or 7 years old, I used to imagine and sometimes also dream about the parallel universes that there is this same home, same family, and a version of myself but acting at different times. past, present and future and I’m currently in present shell, so whenever I did something wrong I would think about traveling there to change the past, to create an alternative reality.

It’s just wired I cannot help but those tormenting thoughts still piss me off and I ask to myself why the hell a kid would think of such things while not having any scientific knowledge at that time. what kind of consciousness is this?

Sometimes I avoid sleeping when I lost myself completely 

People often ask me why don’t you sleep for 8 hours? your eyes shows sleep deprivation. what they don’t know is those dreadful visions horrified me so much that I fear sometimes going to sleep I might never woke up. And if you told anyone they do say your crazy and never understand the real problem.

There is only one notion of Time that it’s constant, it is Right now and its eternity!


If anyone can help me about these visions and dreams I will really appreciate that, the purpose of sharing this in my blog is a hope to find some help or answers regarding Lucid dreaming?



Asian German Sports Exchange Program

Life Marbles

Discover your best self

mostly philosophy

mostly philosophy

Journal Reviewr

For everything notebooks / journal reviews

Make Money Online

Affiliate Marketing Training

Painting with words

Everything that I want to paint with words 🎀


Digital products and reviews


Just a personal blog. I'm not trying to sell you anything.


Asian German Sports Exchange Program

Life Marbles

Discover your best self

mostly philosophy

mostly philosophy

Journal Reviewr

For everything notebooks / journal reviews

Make Money Online

Affiliate Marketing Training

Painting with words

Everything that I want to paint with words 🎀


Digital products and reviews


Just a personal blog. I'm not trying to sell you anything.

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