They talk to me of Nationality, Religion and Language. I shall try to run by those names. How to Identify yourself as free Human-being.


Somewhere in the town a fine young man was living, who had a smooth, slim handsome face, his eyes were intense and had a curiosity to know more about the game he was playing called Life.

He yearns for more, his souls pleads for a new identity, he wanted to create himself anew. It would not be wrong to say that he wanted to be born again, free form all the chains he was tied in like the family, the religion, the language the country and even himself.

He has been discovering himself for almost 20 years. He had always been a rebellious child and he finally creates the life out of life that he was blessed with and now he was no longer under the control of his masters the so called organized institutions such as the government, schools and Religious and political organizations.


The Art of expressing oneself: 

I was born in a Muslim family and even though living in a third world country where expressing yourself was almost like risking your own life. well! I’m a progressive Muslim and I have seen around me the madness and the worst kind of extremism which I want to fight openly and promote humanity. That is why I never took things for granted. While being aware of the blasmphey claims , hate speech. Having no freedom of speech and war  hysteria.

For me life was never so linear as the world had told me. It was rather organic and unpredictable. Literature was my Liberator since I was a kid. Reading books of the greatest thinkers makes me a logical and gives me the ability to think rationally about any particular scenario, reasoning and questioning even the slightest things which creates doubts for me as critical person. Who do actually thinks and never conform or go under the influences of environment or people. The extreme level of nationalism leads to facisim that is what I have learned from my experience and study.

This type of community which actually destroys the Individual. The institutions and the whole system make us such gregarious creatures and thoughtless beings, where we choose acceptance but not the truth. That is why I say, no longer to be undermined by the social stigma. It is the time that I shall disobey whatever I have been taught to obey. I’m not part of any state’s propaganda or label myself with any institution on the face of the earth, I’m a global citizen and my nationality is the whole world. I shall now declare myself a free Man.

How do the School’s and University’s destroyed my Individuality?

To be very honest I have always hated school and which is why I don’t believe in Institutions and in standardized systems. They have failed greatly to govern human beings on their artistic merits. The so called testing and memorizing system has always pissed me off, still I’m pursuing a degree and I have seen some of my fellow students who get good grades by cheating in exams or by buying off the professors. When these kind of people go into the market they are the ones who remain unemployed. I couldn’t express myself in class room because of the certain rules that are set aside, such stupid courses that I have already covered through the books I read years ago. As “Friedrich Nietzsche” wrote for those kind of University Professors who support tradition and standardized systems that “Teacher a Necessary Evil”.


History is filled with such cases. look what happens to the high achievers Einstein who was called mentally misfit, H.G wells never went to school, Newton opposes the institutions, Galileo was accused by church, Socrates was sentenced to death, Steve Jobs was a drop out so is bill gates and there are many more like these.

Why do I blame educational institutions so much watch the video below: 

“I intently believe in self-Education only” 

Ken Robinson is an educationist and a public speaker, I highly recommend to watch his videos and also to read his book specially “Finding your Element” hope you Enjoy the video

After all I’m only human:

On the path of discovering myself, I first lost myself in the bottomless abyss. I have been delirious and in extreme sorrows and despair. The long terrible night that I used to stay awake. my parents put me in the jeopardy by not letting express myself as freely as I wanted to be when I was a kid back then.

Now that I have known who I’m, I’m sober and calm and happy with being myself. I don’t really care how the world define me, cause I know who I am and this is what matters in one’s life, to seek the truth and then fight for it, and live with it.



“Know Thyself” as is the famous saying.

The purpose of sharing my story with all of you is to let you know. It is your birth right to express yourself as truly as you are. And “An un-examined life is not worth living said Socrates once”. So I Encourage you to be yourself and express yourself as you are, I just want from my writings to do some good to humanity and by reading this your already doing that.


Thankyo 🙂

Transcendentalism! My Romance with Nature, How I became an Aesthetic Voyager.

I always have a deep fascination for the Wild! Being alone in the woods, free to live as the first human being might have lived. To live simply and without any luxury, to understand true nature of myself and to see the Imperfections of this civilized life. Yet I never had fallen so hard for its romantic love of nature. As I do now after reading “Henry David Thoreau’s” Walden or life in the woods”.

His writings Inspire me and help me to discover the true value of native feelings. For I must say I had a dying wish which is to die alone in wild and decompose myself as with other beings. It might seem insane to my readers but I have these plans for myself when I will retire from society, old and free to go anywhere and die like a man freely, instead of waiting for other’s sympathies which never really help’s but make us more miserable and the stupid dying rituals we all have.


What is Transcendentalism?

Transcendentalism is a philosophical movement that developed in the late 1820s and 1830s in the eastern United States.  It arose as a reaction to or protest against the general state of intellectualism and spirituality at the time.

How simple and pure beauty is defined in this philosophical school of thought. How we see the materialistic concept of world. The success we long for in the work or study non of it make any sense. They were the romantics of different kinds, whose love is nature and its truthfulness. It clearly shows, how our community has made us such social beings that we no longer spend time alone. We cannot even bear a moment with our self’s and our own thoughts frightened us.

So, as Thoreau put it “Society is too cheap, we meet at every short Intervals”.

As man of you might know about “Eddie Vedder”. Who is a great singer, this song is so self-rewarding and harmonius I do like it to share with you to listen and believe in your abilities, learn to rely on your own-selfs for a fullfilled life.

These amazing thinkers believe that society and its institutions have corrupted the purity of the individual, and they have faith that people are at their best when truly “self-reliant” and independent.

Henry David Thoreau’s writing taught me about the self-reliance:

When I first read Thoreau, I was overwhelmingly impressed and at the same time I was obnoxious that how can a man live alone in the woods for three years and three months. His words are so beautifully penned, one is lost in the wonderful lonely life of a great genius. It shows the human capacity to do anything. while we all conform to the society and its demands, we risk our own individuality.

Every one has a different “DNA” that is what science says, so it means every person is different. I have an elder brother whose interests and likes are totally opposite of my own. Anybody who has siblings can feel that, why should we follow others way of life, why not discover our own.


Transcendentalists are strong believers in the power of the individual. It focuses primarily on personal freedom. Their beliefs are closely linked with those of the Romantics, but differ by an attempt to embrace or, at least, to not oppose the empiricism of science.



Since the Industrial revolution and now in the era of technological advancements. These people remind us of humanity. And of our own well-being. When we try our best to became work-oriented and money hungry. Life must be lived freely and wholly. We live in the comfort zone of our own houses and cities where the noise of traffic and whole spectrum of society make us feel terrible or wanton. We do build parks and gardens but they are man made. The natural forests and its wilderness has its own significant value, as it was there in it’s purest form millions of years ago.


Transcendentalists believe that society and its institutions—particularly organized religion and political parties—corrupt the purity of the individual. They have faith that people are at their best when truly “self-reliant” and independent. It is only from such real individuals that true community can form.

Man was never born to dwell in a single place for his life time. My message is to travel and discover the world for how beautiful it is. Adventure give us the spirits we all need for better health and to lose the restlessness and the endless swarm of anxiety  and pain while living in the community we all share.

Traveling teach us a lot. It broaden the horizons of our mind. getting inside the novelty of danger, out of the comfort zone, realizing our own fear’s and living as our ancestors did It before. These philosophers taught us to look at life as not to just survive and meet one’s living by working but also to go back to the ancient life style and wander around the globe like the “Nomadic’s”.





Thank you

My reflection on Life altogether lacks Meaning! People say one works for living, and working for one’s living can’t be the meaning of life? Questioning the purpose of one’s own whole existence.  

The clouds were heavy and dark as is the heart of a man, who is in severe pain and anguish. Where he is hopeless and full of lethargy. And the thunder bolts in the sky, the enormous roaring were no more different than the outcry of a dying man. Still in midst of all this there was still something pleasant, an amusement maybe, the grey cold blemishness that was in the air, from where the rain drops fall like the tears of a lover, a dreamer, and a  sinner.

Life is only suffering and it has lost it’s meaning for me. And you too, for whom Life is lacking it’s meaning. For your always in a rush, always furious and always in the usual unrest. I don’t know about you but I’m weary of this life, that we call it a blessing, we love it and fear death as much as we can do.

I now find it hard to bear myself as a living entity. The child within me has left me in a great melancholy. I call you oh! my redeemer, my final hope to come and save me from this grown-up man. My youth is no better, for a child know how to live and how to die freely without any fear of job, money or family Such innocence, I long for you in this cold, cruel winter night.


Here is this world that lies to me since the day I was born and told me to accept the flaws. Life seems to make no sense at all. I have been called a Liar, a thief, unworthy, dishonest, immoral and a person who has no credibility. when I see the past, there are only remorse and failures.

Was I even living? I was taught about the conscience of what is good and bad, I ask now, why I have failed to choose the right which is good and harmonious. I have no fear for anything, when I look back I’m ashamed to be me but that was not me but it was what the world has made me.

Why we regret in making  the right decisions: Read More

Literature a forgotten medicine that we all need to know that we are humans after-all. Lets discover the lost Treasure’s of life.

 Oh! I’m a Dreamer. I create my own reality, I have my own world to dwell where I’m the redeemer form all the sorrows, infliction’s and dismay of my miserable daily life. All I need is a book in my hand and I don’t really care what happens to the rest of the world. That is my escape from reality  to the world of imagination.

Literature is one of the fine Arts, like Music, Dance, Painting , Sculpture, as it meant to give aesthetic symbolism, a mere imitation of life as we perceive it. Instead of any other purpose. Consisting of books to be considered as literature which gave us not only aesthetic meaning but also general intellectual experience.


Importance of Literature in our Life:

Expression is the fundamental thing in Literature, Language is the main source of communication as we all know but writers uses the language in such a sense that distinguishes a literary artist from his fellows. Society influences literature in many ways.

The basic theme is expression of beauty. Although there are two types of Literature one is Applied literature which mainly deals with Non-Fiction and other one the pure Literature.


Literature, in its broadest sense, is any single body of written works. More restrictively, literature is writing considered to be an art form, or any single writing deemed to have artistic or intellectual value, often due to deploying language in ways that differ from ordinary usage.

Its Latin root literatura/litteratura  was used to refer to all written accounts, though contemporary definitions.


Books, Novels, poetry, dramas whether classical or modern have its own significant importance in any literate society. It gives such richness to the culture and its people who are the treasures not only for their own generation but also a blessing to the rest of the world. How remarkable it is to find out that the writers, who died thousands of years ago, and here we are living their life’s, feeling their emotions, it’s all magical.

How literature changed my life:

Books that I love to read and have read with great enthusiasm. It help’s me to discover myself. It broaden the horizons of my mind. The writers are the best source of getting to know the culture, value and norms of a country. I have traveled vicariously to many places to “pairs” while reading classics such as “Marcel Proust” “In search of lost time” and “candid” and other stories by “Voltaire”.  “Tolstoy” for representing Russia and from “shakespear” to “Dickens” for England. and many other classical and modern writers and poets really made my day.

Whenever I’m suffering from life’s wretchedness. I do read and it helps me to yield, give me patience that there is more to life and this will move on. Seeing the characters in a story moulding and changing really do a kind of therapy, I do suggest a sick man to read books this way, he can recover more rapidly and will value life more than ever.

Writers are the people who try to make a difference

Many writers spend their whole life time trying to find the meaning of life and share their life experiences to other people, even to strangers and such philanthropy is needed for us to understand the humanity more deeply. They try to bring humanity first when the whole world is misanthropic and they stand against hate speech, gave the man his birth right to say whatever he wants to say.

Promoter of Freedom of speech and expression:


Like this famous saying of French writer “Voltaire”. Writers always fought for freedom of speech and expression, they support individualism and tell us how it can help us to understand and appreciate each other, rhetoric and blasphemy claims were always put on almost every artist.

What is Literature For?

“The School of life” is a YouTube channel I highly recommend to subscribe and watch their videos they are trying to make the world a better place.

Here is the link: Must watch this Video

Reading benefits


Here is the list of some of the advantages of readings:

  • Boost creativity and Imagination
  • Improve focus and clarify the thinking process
  • Memory Improvement
  • Vocabulary Expansion
  • Innovative Ideas
  • Stress Reduction
  • Stronger Analytical Thinking Skills
  • Better Writing Skills
  • Paradigm shift
  • Openness to new experiences
  • More knowledge means more power
  • Makes you Interdependent
  • Emotional intelligence


Happy readings to you 🙂


2018 is Howling tonight! The First Wolf Moon reminds us of the Medieval Beowulf and Vampire legend’s, don’t forget to see the Full moon tonight as it shows how Literature saved the earliest human imitation of world.

There is a mysterious,  Astronomer within me which keeps me awake sometimes in middle of the night just to stare out in the dark gloomy sky filled with dozens of stars and the majestic moon. How great is our universe, Ah, we cannot it even grasp its vastness in a single life time. To me these are the things which really disturbs me .This insatiable quest to know more and to investigate will always follow on just like our ancestors did it before.

Lets get to the point,

A full moon is the lunar phase that occurs when the Moon is completely illuminated as seen from Earth. This occurs when Earth is located directly between the Sun and the Moon (more exactly, when the ecliptic longitudes of the Sun and Moon differ by 180 degrees.

As I was reading a blog recently on Live They reported that Sky watchers, take note! On Jan. 1, 2018, Earth will be closest to the moon , according to The moon will be full at 9:24 p.m. EST (0224 GMT on Tuesday Jan. 2).

Moon myths as we all have been watching this in cartoons and movies:


The Full Wolf Moon gets its name from the hungry wolves that would howl outside Native American villages during these January full moons. As we are all aware how moon affect wild animals it has the same effect on humans as well. We all have watched many movies on Beowulf and vampires, like the famous “Twilight movie series”, “Blade” The Underworld series” and T.V series like vampire dairies and teen wolf.

Moon has always been of great interest for Humans:


I always wonder what the first Nomadic human being must have thought about Moon. Obviously they must have started worshiping it as we may guess, well! it is recorded in history. What is more interesting and fascinating is when we see its influence on Literature, which is filled with all sorts of legends and mythology’s.

“Beowulf” The Medieval Mythology:


The earliest phase of English literature started with Anglo-Saxons even before they occupied Britain. When they used to live at the coasts of Sweden, Denmark etc. The fearless, adventurous savage tribes. Though much of the Anglo-Saxon poetry is lost, there are still some fragments left. Widsith describes continental courts, “Waldhere” tells us how “Walter of Aquitaine” withstand a host of foes in the possess of Voseges; “The fright at Finnesburg”.


Whereas “Complaint of Deor” describes the disappointments of a lover but the most important of all from this period was “Beowulf”. It is a tale of adventures of Beowulf, the hero, who is a champion and a slayer of monsters; the incidents in it are such as may be found in hundreds of other stories, but what makes it really interesting and different from later romances, is that it is full of all sorts of references and allusions of great events, to the fortune of kings and nations. There is thus an historical background

Vampires and Dracula stories:

When I was kid I feared Dracula the most. I mean who wouldn’t be scared that in the middle of night he would come at your bed side and drink your blood. Such frightening nightmares I used to have and who can forget bats and their freakishness I mean they had some connection with these supernatural beings.

The Oxford English Dictionary dates the first appearance of the English word vampire (as vampyre) in English from 1734, in a travelogue titled Travels of Three English Gentlemen published in The Harleian Miscellany in 1745. Vampires had already been discussed in French and German literature.

A vampire is a being from folklore that subsists by feeding on the life essence (generally in the form of blood) of the living. In European folklore, vampires were undead beings that often visited loved ones and caused mischief or deaths in the neighbor hoods they inhabited when they were alive.


The Iconic figure of Vampire heroes in modern novels:

The charismatic and sophisticated vampire of modern fiction was born in 1819 with the publication of The Vampyre by John Polidori; the story was highly successful and arguably the most influential vampire work of the early 19th century. Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel Dracula is remembered as the quintessential vampire novel and provided the basis of the modern vampire legend. The success of this book spawned a distinctive vampire genre, still popular in the 21st century, with books, films, and television shows.

Significant importance of Moon in all religions


Being a Muslim. Moon has its own significant importance in Islam. We celebrate Eid after Ramadan on following the cycles of moon. I remember how i used to run out to the street to see if the moon appears so that we may celebrate Eid next day. And just like this many other religions in world do the same if we study.

Understanding of the Moon’s cycles was an early development of astronomy: by the 5th century BC, Babylonian astronomers had recorded the 18-year Saros cycle of lunar eclipses, and Indian astronomers had described the Moon’s monthly elongation

Nikola Tesla the genius, Illusions regarding Moon.


For over a century and a half the whole world, educated and otherwise, thought that the moon revolved around its axis. Nikola Tesla in the present highly instructive article disproves that theory and will convince scientists and all others alike that the moon does so such thing.

For thousands of years it was thought that the sun and stars revolved around the earth and all kinds of experimental proofs were furnished to substantiate this theory. The illustrious Galileo thought different, and everyone today knows that the earth revolves around the sun.

To read more click on the link below;

 What is Moon to me?

Well it is a sign of hope. That we humans imitate in different kind of experiences. For lovers it has its own romantic meaning. Like Beethoven’s music has its own significant listening in middle of the night. I remember people calming that they see the pictures of their loved ones as they imagine it vividly on the surface of moon.


Some say it is majestic and heart touching to look at moon in middle of the night, as it tell us that we are not alone that someone is out there who control these vast planets. Surely It is God, pure evidence of the master of Universe. Some even say these are some extraterrestrial beings who dwell there. It is still fascinating how we all interpret moon and other objects in our universe.

Thankyo all

Enjoy looking at the moon.

happy new years’s Full moon to all.


Happy New Year! 2018 Finally let’s make a promise that this new year we all bring some new better versions of Our self’s.

2017 is almost gone now: this is the last hour, Aha! perfect time to celebrate.

So, This year is passing away, almost a few hours left for the new year to start. New year generally brings new hopes that we may became a better person, avoid failures be more successful in every aspect of life. This is what the world tell us. According to “ Friedrich Nietzsche”  The conception of a “Genius” is as he explains, is something like this “What does the environment matter to the genius? what does the Time matters? for age is younger and weak but the individual is always older and stronger which could be ahead from his age. I’m not saying be the Ubermench “superman” of Nietzsche. Just clarifying my point as the we should always be in high self-esteem for the world exist for us and there will be a time, when we will get what we really wanted in life if we haven’t got that this year, lets hope for it next year with lots of enthusiasm.

What I Learn from 2017:

Ah, well! I made many new friends and lost many over the year. Some people came and some gone. This is what life is? Nothing is guaranteed we should never expect anything from anyone, I learn this that for those those who leave you and lost all contact still lives happily and move on. like the famous proverb “This is what we need “Openness” I have a tendency I cannot spend more time with a single person, I feel like I Lose my freedom if I engage myself to anyone for a longer time. We need to go just with the flow

Pieter Bruegel the Elder was the most significant artist of Dutch and Flemish Renaissance painting. below this the masterpiece of one his paintings which describes as Life moves on. people come and go. if you see it more vividly, there is a man with a plough busy in working, a ship is on sea, a Shepard busy in his work too, while the fisher man busy in fishing, and the most appalling thing here is in the water, you will see a man drowning. His legs are visible just above the water.


What does this Art represents? It shows that years will pass-by but the world will be the same, even if your dead nobody cares, while we worry about our failures and poor relations with others. Trust me non of it matters at the end. This work of Art is our redeemer from these infliction and I also read some where that “Caring makes you weak if they know you care they ill walk over you” just as another famous proverb is “No plough stops for the dying man”

So, live your life without any regret or without fear what other people think, let them say what they want to say. life is already too short. So, lets live it happily and calmly. This promise is what I made with myself before the new year starts.

  • Some of the best days of this year for me! My achievements this year

One of the best day in this year was in the University when I won the second prize in “Brand ad war” competition. I won all this solely on my own talent. A spectacular presentation kind a rap performance on stage. What I had in my mind was to be different and i Risked and it works, if you trust yourself you can do anything.

I remember my presentation was the last one. Whole auditorium was filled with people who were bored with same presentations and their ads Oh! some spend thousand of Rupees on them. and here I was the only one who spent only 20 Rupees on a printing paper and make an ad.

Here is the link to the ad

The second and most important was I wanted to be a writer so I was facing some problems in buying a laptop I dint have much money to buy one. So I applied for “Hec Laptop scheme” in Pakistan, which awards free laptop to deserving individuals and this laptop from which I wrote this blog helps me with my writing.

As soon as I had a laptop! I write about 2000 words daily and finished writing over 50000 words in a few weeks and wrote about 12 short stores and one unfinished Novel. This was the best motivation. I was finally doing what I love to do. This was my passion since I was a kid. And I remember I had my final exams in the morning last semester and I was writing my stories in middle of the night.

 What will 2018 bring?

Hey happy new year! Soon enough we all will receive such greetings from our friends and family. I wish by the way we all could see the future? Which is not possible so why don’t we make a promise to our self before 2018 starts? Only if we agree to be more passionate and truthful to our own self.

 Does this time really exist? What if we could go back in time and change the past?

I wrote two short stories on time travelling. I’m kind of obsesses with time travel. so everybody thinks or imagine once in a life time, if he could travel back in time and change his past right?

why don’t you share with me what is that you want to change in your life? if I gave you the Time machine to travel where would you go first?


Warm greetings 2018 and  a happy new year  to all of you. stay blessed

Love you all.


How do I describe Myself? well! lets give it a try


Who am I?

I still don’t know who I am really! but what I’m sure about is that I’m a product of literature. The books essentially made me, helps me to discover my passions and meaning to life as an individual I have every right to express or say anything I want to, and my complexities have made me a complete book-star and a writing maniac. I cannot imagine my life without writing and reading books that I love and these are the most important things in my life. I would highlight reading as the most important mind’s exercise and part of a healthy human activity in one’s life. Alright now, I can actually describe myself in just one word as an “Art” Now, one might wonders why? well I’m going to explain this below.



Well that is a real question I don’t think I could answer It but what I think is this:

Art is a meaning to life! At least that is what I believe after finishing the longest novel in the world by “Marcel Proust” which explains how little things can make a huge difference. When in our daily life’s we neglect things like a pure aesthetic pleasure we get from a cup of tea or coffee. Art is mere imitation of the world. To understand and appreciate it.


What It takes to be a writer?

Trust me nobody chooses to become a writer but one becomes due to some unknown reason. It demands a lot. The worst of all is to live alone. Obviously, you must write and you have to spend your time alone. It is terrible to be alone in my experience. We are social beings in nature. But we the writers must develop such tendency as it later on becomes a blessing. It is then not wrong to say that Solitude is the best companion. Being a writer takes consistency, commitment and a lot of discipline in order not lose relations with people.


My Life as an Artist:

There are time’s in one’s life when he feels he ought to do more than he is doing, it is when he discovers himself and all the hidden creative potential within him. I was never good at anything which is whatever I tried to do all my life I failed miserably whether in studies or in relations with people and family. I Firmly believe in self-education that is why I have no love for any prestigious institution. Your life is not your CV Or Degree that you might feel proud, nor the jobs or money it is to know yourself and be the best version of yourself by finding your own inner talents. As “Picasso” says “Every child is born as an artist”. so that is why I wanted more and so I find my path as an artist when I was reading books and writing the journals. I knew I have always been a complex human being it was these artistic temperaments and I now realize after living alone most of the time. To tell the truth! My best friends died 200 years ago some thousands of years ago. I’m talking about writers like “Tolstoy”,” Dickens, Dostoevsky and Plato etc. Solitude has always been my best companion. As I started writing I wrote about 12 short stories within a month and all were rejected unfortunately! So I have more unfinished stories than friends. now I started a blog, created a website to promote my writings and also working on a Novel as well as struggling to get published.

  • My mission as a blogger

“True uninhibited expression of oneself as a human being we exist and have every right to feel or say anything without any fear or prejudice.To promote humanity and freedom of expression”

“A portfolio and a personal blog to promote my writings and the urge to express myself as truly as I’m and also a message to all the individuals who feels the same and won’t reveal their right to express themselves as freely as they can. it is for them to break the chains that is the goal here“.




To “Troubles”

Why the hell I’m losing my mind, when my sixth sense warns me about every possible failure which could come ahead. I’m deeply disappointed with myself. My behavior and guts has betrayed me.

Life has lost its meaning. Oh I wish if I could have taken it more serious. didn’t go well, if I wish somehow, I could have done the best things to have good communications with everyone. Such an embarrassment I mean why should I care what is done is gone. Why I am overthinking oh! Yes, I should read some book, console myself or just write something beautiful. See the sunset or perhaps I should take a nap. Maybe I should have gone to my dad’s office. This way I could have bring my mind to peace. Well I should have prepared the compering well enough and must have rehearsed it properly. I wish I could change the past.


What a shame, a disgrace to myself. How can I face those teachers? I certainly put my own reputation on stake. It is terribly lost. It took a lot of courage to bring my self-esteem back. Why did a person go half the way to the university and come back home for no reason? Burns the petrol and comeback like a loser. Such a confused personality I’m. I should never had attended that event. My life has now become a hell on earth. It must be because of my poor decision making. How would I face the campus faces? Staring at me. The critics. God help me. I’m tormented, ahh, lets watch something, some good movie to cheer me up. To make me feel better maybe I should have gone to a friend but wait I have no friends but my books. I’m a superman as” Nietzsche” portrait ed. Be strong, I’m feeling hungry I must eat something. I should get out of this cursed room. Oh man what should I do. I’m exaggerating again. Past is gone I can’t change it. I’m looking for an escape.

I know I have the potential to things more than anyone can do. I don’t know why I didn’t do it.

What a mess I’m, look at me, I’m full of shit: a person who has in his mind only madness. You should have proven yourself what your capable of doing. How can you led yourself down and others to look down towards you? Your lost, where are you? find yourself. Who are you? What have you done? Oh! I should have let it someone else took the role of hosting. How can I present myself with such stupidity? I have got no solution to my problem. And the anxiety. What an idiot What is this distress, I’m depressed. I cannot escape from these tormenting thoughts.

Oh Allah help me to overcome my fears and doubts. I need the confidence back. My mother is always worried about me, she thinks I’m a fool and spend lavishly. I have spent more than 2700 in a month. And I have no idea where it goes. Now I need some money again to buy a guitar with the name of God how I’m gona manage it.


I’m a disintegrated person. Like a damned soul I’m wondering in a bottomless abyss; which has no way out. Oh lord please help me. Human endurance such pains is incredible. I will overcome this time too. I have seen much worse than this. Let it show all the adversity obstacles, for sorrows are my continues friend. I have done nothing good today, such a wasted day. Each breath is heavy and I have wasted it all on these useless worries which are now in past. What will I do now? Can I be defeated?

Man can be destroyed but as long as he is standing he cannot be defeated says “Hemmingway” so, let it be my man, I’m gonna make it through. Cause I know I can.

Well! There is more to life. You know your goal. You’re a writer, hahah A writer who don’t know grammar who have receive dozens of rejections. Where is the winner? Enough sitting here on this itching chair, smoking cigarettes aimlessly, I’m going for some sleep ahh! There’s the bed the warmth of it I can still feel. Let dreams overcome this cruel reality and miserable life.



“Stream of Consciousness” (Innovative Blogging style)

stuffyoushouldknow-14-2013-05-streamconscious_landingWhat is meant by stream of consciousness? One might wonders why? The blogger has attempted to choose such name for his blogpost?

As many of you must have heard about Stream of consciousness. well! It is a narrative mode or method that attempts to depict the multitudinous thoughts. A narrative device that attempts to give the written equivalent of the character’s thought processes, either in a loose interior monologue. Stream-of-consciousness writing is usually regarded as a special form of interior monologue and is characterized by associative leaps in thought and lack of some or all punctuation. Stream of consciousness and interior monologue are distinguished from dramatic monologue and soliloquy, where the speaker is addressing an audience or a third person, which are chiefly used in poetry or drama. it is primarily a fictional device.

It is a style of writing developed by a group of writers at the beginning of the 20th century. It aimed at expressing in words the flow of a character’s thoughts and feelings in their minds. The technique aspires to give readers the impression of being inside the mind of the character. Therefore, the internal view of the minds of the characters sheds light on plot and motivation in the novel.

Why to blog in the manner of stream of consciousness?

The purpose of my blog is to stimulate my thoughts freely in the form of words in such a technique to express more imitatively. Everything that happens in my life whether good or bad it passes on and I will blog them in the form of stream of consciousness. It is challenging even though I will try my best. Artistically I have every right to express my each and every thought that comes to my head without any prejudice or manipulation. The goal of the art is the reflection of truth. Being true to oneself and promoting the freedom of expression.aid487048-v4-728px-Write-Stream-Of-Consciousness-Step-8.jpg.png

I’m thinking of making it simply a common technique out of its limitations not only in fiction but to make it a common thing to do. Also, to promote it as a best and a unique way of expressing oneself freely.

Readers are required to have patience and tolerance, not to put any rash judgments but to understand it and see how different thoughts unfold in our minds at the same time. out of our own creative capacity the ability to produce thousands of thoughts in seconds.

Thank yo


Asian German Sports Exchange Program

Life Marbles

Discover your best self

mostly philosophy

mostly philosophy

Journal Reviewr

For everything notebooks / journal reviews

Painting with words

Everything that I want to paint with words 🎀


Digital products and reviews


Just a personal blog. I'm not trying to sell you anything.


Asian German Sports Exchange Program

Life Marbles

Discover your best self

mostly philosophy

mostly philosophy

Journal Reviewr

For everything notebooks / journal reviews

Painting with words

Everything that I want to paint with words 🎀


Digital products and reviews


Just a personal blog. I'm not trying to sell you anything.

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